Wednesday, May 18

How should she have a better relationship with her adult child? Choose the right words, advises psychologist.

These measures restore dialogue with adult children.

Reader questions: One of our adult children is very vulnerable and interprets the most innocent input in a conversation as interference with advice he has not asked for. If I try to record that I feel guarded when we meet, so that I never know when there will be a scene and thus become very insecure and bound when we are together, he says that I should not ‘take it’, etc., and that this is part of my type of abuse of power.

He is in his late twenties with a high level of education and a good job. Most advice for parents who are struggling in their relationship with adult children is to lie down, lie down, walk by themselves, take the child’s perspective. That’s what I end up doing, and pondering and examining myself and what I have done and said that triggers his mind. But what if the criticism feels completely unreasonable and out of proportion? I think it’s about me and not about the case. How can I move forward to have a better relationship with this one adult child?

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